so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
