Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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