You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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