Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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