Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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