chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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