so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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