im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
