he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
