your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
