I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
