Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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