do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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