i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
