i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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