I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
