I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it's like heaven, but drunker
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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