Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
