TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
