He kissed a someone with a penis
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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