So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I need to align my fucking chakras
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
