i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
im on a boat
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