woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
