There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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