all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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