I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
