Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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