Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
