oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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