I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
