Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
