A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
