shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
