Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
