Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
