every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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