I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
