Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
