This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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