Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
