I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
