I want to have your abortion
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
