and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
