I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
