Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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