I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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