ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
