Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
