Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
