so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
50% drunk capacity currently
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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