38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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