Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
