Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
