Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
