I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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